Friday, September 22, 2006 ♥
shall i, or shall i not?..i dont want to be irresponsible here. really. i hate it this way. i know i should clear things up. but im just afraid.it's been months already, yet i always feel so disturbed on and off. especially after his calls and msgs. im not without feelings. in fact, i feel guilty.as i've said, i hate the feeling of being irresponsible and i seriously know that i should give him an explanation. but how? lie to him to hide my selfish thoughts? or simply tell him everything and plunge myself into this again? he'll loathe me. i was selfish, i admit. i sacrificed him to ease my guilt towards another him at that time.i was wrong. though i should have done this, i just realized this isnt the right way to. am so sorry. but i thought after some time, perhaps just a month, he'll give up already. i really didnt expect that till now after 5months, he's still trying. all my fault, i confess.ok, straightforward and direct choices for me now; -tell him im guilty of everything. -a wide lie to him and put this to an end. -or just continue avoiding him altogether.i think i'll probably take the second choice, but will give myself another day to decide. gotta consider wisely, else i'll end up making the wrong choice again.*my friends who have read this, and though out of concern, pls dont ask me anything abt it. im sorry, not trying to be secretive. so pls dont feel offended. but i just want to keep the details to myself. supposingly, this post is just my way of expressing my feelings. thank you.
