♥ The Sozo-fied Child ♥

Saturday, April 29, 2006 ♥

so everything's just a misunderstanding. that's a bad joke! was so disheartened when i learnt abt that incident, and in the end, just a misunderstanding?! perhaps i've wronged him. and im so sorry for it. but even so, my stand will still be the same like days before. no more nonsense. this incident has taught me that harbouring feelings for someone can really be soOo distracting. there are worries for him when he's in trouble and so much wondering why, when there have been days since the last conversation. and it also showed me things that i didnt know. he's the happy-go-lucky sort who wouldnt bother abt small details. such as, simple things like a short msg is impt to me, but not to him. not judging him, nor implying that he isn't nice. he IS nice. just that our characters dont match. no more dillie dallies. but it just takes time. i believe that when i can just take him as one of my good friends again, feelings can fade. just like i've said, it just takes time. dont want to be tortured by feelings again, now that im 'free from beng'. studies should be my top piority right now. im gonna score for my 'o' levels.

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Friday, April 28, 2006 ♥

still feeling some sort of sadness. but after a long and depressing day, finally, much feelings had gone away. thoroughly accepted it. not much thoughts in my mind now. but i guess i didnt really feel that much for him, since it was just the beginning of feelings developed. it's much easier to get over with compared to the feelings i had for beng for years. just feeling a lil' hurt cuz he was the first i felt for in these 3 years without beng inside. and somehow, kinda 'cheated' (perhaps by myself) cuz i was actually one of the last to know. that was probably why i felt so affected. cant really describe my feelings deep inside, cuz it's all juggled up. mixed feelings. hmm... but thank god that i still have my classmates and friends. sk, sheena, niza, russell and well, him. so it's not the end of all the joy in school. right now, waiting for tuesday to come, so i can see my friends again in school. i miss them.

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Thursday, April 27, 2006 ♥

yes, im in no position to bother abt his affairs and to even feel so affected by IT. but humans do have feelings right. imagine receiving this kind of news just early in the morning as i got to school, when we were still fine the evening before. it isnt easy to take it. really, it isnt. but what can i do... blame it on my own stupidity to have thought that he's someone so different, and to have been so concerned abt him. no, he's not cheating me, he has nv expressed anything for me verbally. just some silly rumors and a meaningless birthday wish that made my initial firm decision waver. was accidentally in "love" (wouldn't call it a love though) , but too bad, a single-sided one. what a fool i am. it's alright, since it's a feeling that came by accidentally, it'll soon be over. rest another day and i'll be back in school just like normal. no more of these nonsense already. he'll just be another good friend again. just some time i need, and i will definitely get over with this.

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Tuesday, April 25, 2006 ♥

missed school again today. just doing nothing now and thought of the speech day i attended a couple of days ago. it was my first and final one. no doubt i went there SoOo reluctantly, thinking that i would just be sitting there grumbling throughout those torturous hours. but NO, i had a great day! haha. although the speeches given and performances really bored me to tears (not that i dont appreciate my schoolmates' efforts, but it seriously wasnt the least interesting to me) , the company of the ppl around me made the atmosphere so different! lols. sk, cyrus, danesh, wei keong, rizal and the others... esp. wei keong! i really wonder where all his humorous cells come from. lols. there were jokes and laughter throughout. =DD ya, and it was really unexpectedly fun. thank god that i did go for it. i guess i would have missed out all the fun if i skipped the event. hmm... ok, that's all for now. =)

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