♥ The Sozo-fied Child ♥

Friday, October 31, 2008 ♥

Woohoo!
Finally my long-waited 31Oct is over!!
No more long bus journeys to/fr wrk, no more stoning and boredom tears. Weehee.
But somehow a little tinge of emotions at wrk these couple of (last) days.

The desk I walk to every morn,

Sitting down confined. :o

Lil' meeting rm during my lunch time,

All I can see fr this 17th level view.

Essentials.

My reception area.

Gifts fr dear colleagues,

5 longgg mths.

And in it,3 most precious. :(

Bye, PEDs.

Went Suki again w Darling for a quick bite buffet.

UH. It now becomes a once-every-weekend thing. Lol.

Still say want save moneyyyy.

So tired today.

Boat quay w him?

No deal.

See, back hm so early first time in mthsssss. 10pm and Im alrd comfortably showered. Hehe.

Mom's so happy abt it, haa.

Im more interested in preparing a good night slp for Arrow svc tmr!

Yay-ee!

Nightssssssssssss.

11.35am

Delivered

Monday, October 27, 2008 ♥

This morn, surprisingly I got up early despite a late night last night, a PH this morn.
Events of this past 8mths kept flooding my mind, refusing to let me get back to slp.

8mths of being attached.
A part of it sooo happy I cant deny his efforts, 2 fractions miserable.
So then, how do I decide.

Feeling so lost, awesome DaddyGod spoke to me. :)
A quiet time Im finally free enough for.
Told me to go pick up my phone and go through the list of friends I have in it,
numbering those ex-suitors I used to have before this relationship.
The more recent ones.
Then percentage it.

Guys. Minus those who merely wanted a fling and lasted less than a couple of mths (and those who didnt make their feelings known to me), I still have 17%.
Not alot I guess, but tt's exactly what Daddy said to me,
"See, havent you attracted guys who are serious w you when your love was all on me? If I can make you a heads-turn even when you were younger and w/o any makeup tt you now need, why not more abundantly right now? Take my yoke and trust me. I'll nv let you suffer nor be heart-broken. Again. Give to me what wringed heart you're left with."

Wows me.
I was amazed and realized tt all these mths, I've nv been able to decide clearheadedly cuz Im always w him, clinging to him, getting so used to him. My Darling.
It's time I put some distance and space between us for a clearer view.

Difficult it is,
I feel a sense of belonging so strong towards him, and all tt feelings so deep even now.
But still, I think I should give it a try.

A happy 8th mth tt just passed yest.
Oct 26, 2008.

Last 4 days to go, happily jobless. :D
Byebye.

Delivered

♥

A good long period since my last post.
Much incidents took place, some I still couldnt come to terms with.

8 Oct 2008. 26 April 2009.
2 special dates I'm keeping close to my heart for the rest of my life.
Time's been my remedy, though a healing slow.
The biggest ordeal I just went through, the aftermath of the 8th tt just past.
All tt accompanied me was suffocating tears. Day and night. Nth else.
Loneliness, helplessness and all tt hurt does it.
Only then I realized Im all alone.

Such secrecy, I couldnt talk to anyone.
Much less garner some desperate support.
Frm this close-knitted family, from well-concerned friends.
Yet the most hurting of all, I realized my bf's a 50% one.
Sometimes when he's all thattt sweet, I dont deny wanting to fall for him all over again.
But sad to say, the rest of the time, just a ~~receiver~~ he is.

Well, everything's over.
Or almost so.
Now tt the painful trying period's slowly moving on.

Thanks to myself.
Thanks to a supportive sis Im blessed with,
and what little 50% Darling's given me.
I couldnt have been able to pick myself up again otherwise.
Im sure.

Pray tell me, since when did my life turn into such a mess.

Delivered

Friday, October 03, 2008 ♥

Had a v meaningful morn standing up and then sitting down, ~~trying to~~ walk to and from my manager's office.
Because.. I daren't put in my resignation letter.
Spent more than an hr before I went in. Lol.
But well, finally I did it. One last mth of tolerating a ~~comfy cage~~. Weehee. :)

Arrow tmr!
I'm not missing it anm,
hopefully. :)

Darling promised prata tonight.
Yay. Bb.

3.25pm

Delivered

Thursday, October 02, 2008 ♥

So unwell,
So highly ~~frustrat-able~~,
I'm beginning to feel tt I'm gg through all of this alone.

Gg bonkers.
I badly badly badly want to resign.
But who'd give me the courage to? :X

I don't have THE perfect bf I dream.
But I've the bestest of my 19yrs I swear.
Love him sweet, still. :)

Delivered