Friday, September 22, 2006 ♥
shall i, or shall i not?..i dont want to be irresponsible here. really. i hate it this way. i know i should clear things up. but im just afraid.it's been months already, yet i always feel so disturbed on and off. especially after his calls and msgs. im not without feelings. in fact, i feel guilty.as i've said, i hate the feeling of being irresponsible and i seriously know that i should give him an explanation. but how? lie to him to hide my selfish thoughts? or simply tell him everything and plunge myself into this again? he'll loathe me. i was selfish, i admit. i sacrificed him to ease my guilt towards another him at that time.i was wrong. though i should have done this, i just realized this isnt the right way to. am so sorry. but i thought after some time, perhaps just a month, he'll give up already. i really didnt expect that till now after 5months, he's still trying. all my fault, i confess.ok, straightforward and direct choices for me now; -tell him im guilty of everything. -a wide lie to him and put this to an end. -or just continue avoiding him altogether.i think i'll probably take the second choice, but will give myself another day to decide. gotta consider wisely, else i'll end up making the wrong choice again.*my friends who have read this, and though out of concern, pls dont ask me anything abt it. im sorry, not trying to be secretive. so pls dont feel offended. but i just want to keep the details to myself. supposingly, this post is just my way of expressing my feelings. thank you.
Monday, September 18, 2006 ♥
aww.. feel like puking. the whole day.save me!.. it's back. ==
Saturday, September 16, 2006 ♥
strange thing. a long time since i last slept so much. after the accounts paper yesterday, i got home, took a shower and proceeded with my nap right from 10plus(am) to 2.30pm in the afternoon. yet i was still feeling so tired. then again, i took another nap from 6.30 after holland v, till 9pm. my goodness. then went to bed again at around 3am last night till 12plus this morning. i guess it was due to the exams i had the whole of this week. exams are so exhausting to me.today's DARE day. i skipped it. didnt feel like going. but angie went anyway. wanted to ask hazel out to shop for a few tshirts but she felt like going to the gym. == interests clashed. so we had decided to stay in in the end. right now, waiting for angie to come home, but it'll be a long one cuz i guess she'll be going for the DARE dinner before heading back home. boring without her.svc tmr will be held at the indoor stadium again. 10am. shall i go?.. just too lazy to attend services recently. not sure why. gonna listen to one of pastor prince's sermons later on. 2 weeks since i last listened to one. so dead.
Thursday, September 14, 2006 ♥
sk nv come school today. cuz of her gastritis. how come? i dont rmb her having gastric probs when we were still together in the beginning of last year. was wondering what could have caused it. i guess it's not really because of her eating habits in the sense of the different timing, but because of the amounts she's eating. i think the reason lies here: she starves herself often and suddenly stuffs when she's out for good food. no, not referring her as a psychic la, but i guess she just doesnt really takes good care of her own health?.. no idea. im not a doctor. probably she's just gotta eat regularly to get well. *take care girl.a short day in school today. bio paper. section A was alright. just for section B, i had probs. well, nothing much today la. gotta revise for my FAV accounts when i return home later on. bb.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 ♥
maths paper 2 today. doomed. it was difficult. history paper, good. i dont think i can make it for SBQ. but for SEQ, i think i'll do quite well; like 14/25? and just for your info, that's considered good enough for my usual standard already. hehe. i actually revised for merely one chapter - the cold war. blah, it didnt come out. but it's considered quite incredible that i was able to recall all the detailed points i need for the question i chose for SEQ. hehe. it was abt Germany. so i'll definitely rmb! =D just bio paper tmr and it ends at 9plus. great. can come home and rest. still gotta do some revision later on.oh well, was chatting with sn on our way home just now. funny. talked abt our sec3-time jokes. lols. niu muo wang and stuff. hahaha. she's the white-bone demoness. =D good that there aint any roles for me. it isnt any compliment at all. lols. yup, and she mentioned abt him. one thing i realised, his name no longer mean anything special to me anymore. how nice. realised that im back to the laughing person i used to be before i was attracted to him. i mean, like when i laugh, i laugh with nothing weighing on my mind again. i rmb being troubled with matters related to him in my mind so often then. no more of such feelings. nice=)look at angie?.. i love her. =D
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 ♥
hell. it hurts. since yesterday, the first day of school, i've been sitting on the floor so many times and my spine hurts. not too sure what it's called, so i'll just settle as the spinal cord. kept forgetting that i had hurt myself right at that spot by the stupid fall last week. just today, the pain got worst when i reached the school courtyard. sat down and leaned backwards as usual. OUCH!.. omg, pain. then again while waiting for my 2nd paper outside the school hall, mr tang walked pass and acted like he wanted to step on me cuz i was blocking his way. adjusted my weight to my where my spinal cord is as i leaned backwards to shun his stupid foot. OH MY GOODNESS. hurt like HELL can. and now the pain is so intense. cant even put pressure on that spot, like sneezing. let alone bending or squating down. =( thought of going to the bonesetter but mom says that it'll hurt even more during 'treatments'; faith and hannah experienced it before.anyway, maths paper 1 was slightly easier than what i had expected. so, good. might be able to get an E8 and get right out of mrs yoga's class!.. hehe. hopefully la. OMG, for accounts, sad thing. no more A1 i guess. so tough. but i guess the questions aint difficult at all. just that the marks to be awarded are too miserly! then make us write for 2 whole hours. == even if we get the whole question correct, little marks. no wonder we cant score in sec 5. O levels aint like the Ns.
Sunday, September 10, 2006 ♥
I've Been Tagged, I've been tagged by PEILIN!
Here are the rules...
Do the following WITHOUT complaints.
Choose 5 people to do this after you have completed yours.
Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged.
Start your post with I have been tagged!
Then do this.
Current Mood: amused by SHERMAN TAN
Taste: green
Current Clothes: tshirt and shorts
Current Desktop: DELL
Toenail Colour: simply TOE COLOUR
Current Time: 23:20
Current Surroundings: abel's bedroom
Current Annoyances: those itch and pain near my elbows!
First Best Friend(s): JESUS CHRIST=D, angie
Current Best Friend(s): peilin=) and the buddies in school!
First Crush: that P6 boy who used to be my good friend
First Movie: oh dear, how can i rmb..
First Lie: cant rmb.
Last Crush: obvious, but i shan't say. =P
Last Movie: longgg ago. cant rmb as well.
Last Phone Call: from dad
Last song played: Im Held By Your Love
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Yes
Have you ever broken the law: minor ones?.. i dont think there's any 100% law-bidding citizens in s'pore, agree?
Have you ever been arrested: no
Have you ever skinny-dipped: NO
Have you ever been on TV: no
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: no
5 things you are wearing: tshirt, shorts, hair band, undergarments, that's all==
4 things you did today: watched animal planet all day long, blogged like now, snacked, sort of revised.
3 things you can hear right now: windows media tracklist, angie nagging and my own laughter. lols.
1 thing you do when you're bored: watch tv
People I tagged: no one, and i dont intend to tag anyone.
♥
how sad. just finished watching the crocodile hunter. there's still more tonight. 12am to 5am - in memory of Steve Irwin. gotta stay up to watch. a great guy he is. loved by so many millions of ppl around the world. cant imagine him interacting with so many other huge, fatal animals and coming out alive and well; yet a stupid stingray can take his life so suddenly. ='( news got around so soon just on the day he passed on (mon). it's so obvious how well he's respected by ppl with his love and sympathy for animals. but i just hope some confirmation comes around soon, letting me know that he's with ... ......, and i'll at least feel hopeful for him again. ='(
Thursday, September 07, 2006 ♥
speedy time. a wink and it's already thursday now. have been so busy throughout this week of hols. no idea what on earth have i been doing, but i just felt so busy. not even started on my revision, except for a few chapters on chem. havent got the time to blog these few days. so now, here's what i've been doing:Sun`-sunday svc. pastor mark preached cuz pastor prince's out for a holiday again.-dinner at convention hall - kuali. oh ya, ppl. if you have not visited this 'restaurant' yet, DONT. the food aint tasty at all. not much variety either.-shopped for prom dress. no avail however.Mon`-stayed in to do some revision on chem. 1 chapter completed. ^^-dad took away so much delicacies; bloated. hehe.Tue`-went for accounts lesson in the morning. so idiotic! we thought we were given the wrong timing but in fact, we were correct! just because we were slightly late by a few mins and all the others were seated in the library already, we thought the lesson was supposed to start at 10am (instead of the 10.30 which we were told). so we just idled the time away till the 2nd session of the day. then i realized that the 1st session was on accounting ratio which i badly need help in! omg!!Wed`-went ECP with Huper. fun!*fellowshiped.*card games.*captain's ball; we girls won! yeehee. was too exhausted to carry on. angus took over me for the 2nd game.*some cycled, some roller-bladed. poor me bladed and fell twice. the second fall was a BAD one down the slope. wounded. =( but the guys rocks! helped me with my wounds. lydia and i switched; she took over my blades and i biked. carried on with our journey to the jetty.*dined at marine cove. great dinner! fellowshipped along. =)*took a bus home.*showered, and i tell you, the shower was a long one. had so much difficulties washing myself. ==*dressed my wounds properly. removed the bandages. how disgusting. thought of the Lord. how did He ever bear with the 39 stripes. ='(-though i was badly hurt by that fall, the day was a great one, i must say. all thanks to our LordJesus and the guys who made it possible for this DG outing!Thu`-again, with the wrong timing, i was SOOO late for accounts lesson. seated in the library only for abt 40mins. clubs and societies today. saddest of all, i learnt nothing at all. time wasted.-anyway, russell's opening question was hilarious. he asked me if i dropped into the drain. lols. you should listen to him saying it. funny. initially i thought i stink, hence his question. then i realized it was the plasters on me and my way of walking (hurt my lower back and had difficulties walking, sitting down and bending)-anyway, gotta start on my accounts revision later on, in preparation for the quiz at tp tmr. so sian, gotta waste another day again. oh ya, and ss too.
Sunday, September 03, 2006 ♥
DARE svc yesterday.#1. praise was alright.#2. worship was wonderful. annointed; cried.#3. sermon as usual.#4. DG meeting- played the animal game. was fun.#5. stood aside, alone during after-svc-praise time. feeling a lil' sad. surprisingly, coach elizabeth took notice of me. came over, gave me a big hug and carried on with the praise thing. felt better.#6. didnt go for DARE dinner. had dinner with angie. ample time spent on deciding what to eat --> chocs' / parris / pizza hut / sakae .. in the end, we had MAC. ==msged dora this morning, told her that i needed to stop tuition for these 2 weeks. stressed, needed more time on other subjects.gtg for svc now. bb.
Friday, September 01, 2006 ♥
HAPPY COACHES' DAY! =Dwent suntec today. not for bs, but for dg meeting. huper's making a coaches' day card for coach mel. hmm, i was a lil' late. called angus, but he said he's gonna be even later. took a sit. then from afar, i saw jerald. didnt have my glasses on, so i just assumed it was him. waved, and he came over. thank God i didnt get the wrong person, else i'd seem so silly. =D chatted, amused. XD then came the others. well, and angus wasnt just late ok. we waited for this guy who was supposed to bring all the materials -> 50mins. == when he finally arrived, we spent more than an hour just designing the front page and matching colours. omg. but it WAS beautiful alright. something's for sure, we have quite some creative cells in us. hehe. =Dbut before we could even start on the next page, i had to leave. meeting mom and angie to shop for MY stuff. along orchard, we walked and walked till our feet hurt, nothing was suitable. =( merely bought a belt. not that nice afterall. but better than nothing la.ok, going to bed! blog again tmr. =))
